If you are anything like me, The Cheesecake Factory menu makes you cringe because there are too many choices and you feel rushed as everyone else is waiting on you to order. Once the food arrives, you end up with plate envy because they have what you WERE going to order but you felt too rushed and you’re now picking off their plate!

Processing decisions is important but sometimes we can overthink the room paralyzed in the what if’s and not moving at all or moving too quickly only to regret our decision later. The bigger the decision, the thicker the “quicksand” can be around your feet and the louder the voices are in your head. So how do you know if you should move FORWARD or not?

If you’ve already picked it apart, prayed about it, processed it, paced around, put it on a spreadsheet, procrastinated, maybe even eaten a whole pizza in one sitting (don’t judge me).. and you are still stuck in ‘decision quicksand’ unable to move forward, then step away from it entirely.

Press Pause.

Give yourself 3 days to remove the pressure that you are putting on yourself. Obviously you can’t sit in your closet or at The Cheesecake Factory for 3 days, but you know the big decision I am talking about, the one coming to mind right now.

Sometimes there are deadlines to decisions, I know. Is it worth asking for a few more days to know you are not making a mistake? You just have to ask for 3 more days, just 72 hours, that’s it. If you simply don’t have 3 days, 3 hours can even work too!

Why 3 days? A lot can happen in 3 days!

Just 3 days after the crucifixion came the resurrection.

So what do you do? You surrender it and then just wait for the peace to come and then you will know which way to go.

If you are over-striving in anything, give yourself permission to pause for a few days. If you are really into working out, just go for a walk & don’t think about miles or calories, focus on breathing & calming your central nervous system.

WARNING: There will come opposition and you may feel like nothing is going right and that you are on overdrive. This is normal and about where we are inclined to say “Nope, never mind I don’t have peace right now so I guess that is my answer”.

DON’T STOP THERE. Sometimes this opposition is because it’s something you ARE supposed to do! The good news is, this means that the peace is close.

That rushed, hurried feeling is NOT God’s voice, it’s the opposite. He never rushes you, he gives us peace to move into something if he is on it. Lay it at his feet, wait on him and he will show up with peace to go one way or the other. All you have to do is wait, listen and follow the peace. If you don’t have peace, then you do not move forward.

How do you know if you have peace, you might ask? It’s the opposite of that unsettled restless feeling or the stuck quicksand feeling. Ask God to give you a confirmation that this is what you are supposed to do or show you that it isn’t. A certain amount of healthy fear is good, that means you have to trust him but the heaviness will lift and it will feel lighter.

I have learned many hard lessons in big life things throughout the years because I didn’t know how to connect to the holy spirit and my inner voice at the time. If I look back I realize now I actually did not have peace about some of those decisions but I just didn’t know the difference & moved forward anyways. There were also many times that I didn’t have peace about something and stayed in situations longer than I should have. If you are still long enough, you can feel it like a still knowing inside and nothing is worth your peace.

I can also testify to some pretty wild things God has done for me in the 3 days of surrender. I have had checks show up in the mail unexpectedly for an exact amount I needed, some doors he has opened wide or even slammed for me before I had to do a thing. No matter how, he always does show up. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Press PAUSE.

Wait for the PEACE.

Then PROCEED.

That’s how you know you’re making the right decision, by following the peace.

The peace of God that surpasses all understanding at all times will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6

May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

We all hate wearing them, they are uncomfortable, awkward, won’t stay on your face, you have to maintain them and not forget to put them on when you leave your house. You feel like you can’t really connect with someone when you are wearing one, almost like you are hiding behind it. Sound familiar?  

What’s funny is – we’ve all been wearing masks already; you just couldn’t see them. Masks we wear to protect ourselves, out of fear, to perform, to be liked, to be perfect, etc.  Some of us got so used to the invisible masks we wear you lost touch with the real you underneath. It’s exhausting and uncomfortable to maintain.

Slowing down peels back layers that we hide behind that have kept us stuck, allowing our authentic selves to come to the surface and re-connect with who is underneath, something unlocks & you’re free to move forward into change.

As we start to come back ‘out’ you may feel a little more vulnerable since some of these layers have been peeled back.  What if something new has been developing behind your mask these last few months and like a butterfly develops in a cocoon, you have a new you behind it?  A more alive you, a new business idea, a new house, a new city, a new hobby?  What’s behind your mask?

Shades of Grey

Waiting is the hardest part. Nobody likes being stuck in the middle or “in between.” It’s uncomfortable, pressed & squeezed by a loss of control and the uncertainty this ‘GREY’ space brings.  

This is why it feels safer to stick to the walls of black & white. But is it really safe or does it keep us from moving forward? This self-inflicted torture of “right or wrong”, “all or nothing”, “never perfect so never good enough” mentality? Like a pendulum swinging from one side to the other we think we have control but fear actually has control of us, keeps us in fight or flight; operating from our head instead of our heart.

 “Well since I didn’t work out today, I may as well have a bag of chips for dinner!” (IE: me last night)

Most of us can agree we have felt stuck in a grey season on some level given the last 6 months of the pandemic and being forced into a new normal. If we let go and go with the flow of change long enough to get past the discomfort, it can be the most rewarding. 

Once we exit the extremes and settle into the ‘middle’ we realize it’s not grey at all. It’s a silver lining.  It’s where real breakthrough happens. Join me, in the middle because that’s where…..

  • we can think outside of the box
  • imperfect is the new perfect
  • all possibilities lie
  • being present is more important than being perfect
  • spontaneity lives
  • passion is re-ignited
  • we appreciate the little things
  • patience is learned
  • we share to be heard not right or wrong
  • we learn to play again
  • we’re allowed to make mistakes
  • we let go
  • we don’t have to have all the answers
  • we try something new
  • it’s ok to ask for help
  • we can see the bigger picture
  • self-compassion grows
  • we don’t care what others think
  • we realize it’s not all about us
  • we slow down
  • we exit the adrenaline rush
  • we rest & reflect
  • we become aware of our breathing
  • we can hear our inner voice
  • we listen to our heart
  • we live in the present
  • we realize we can’t do it all
  • humility grows
  • we surrender
  • God shows up
  • we experience grace
  • we have clarity
  • transformation begins
  • addictions lose control of us
  • we connect with our true self….and others
  • we begin to see a shift
  • we get out of our own way…and Gods
  • we are free

SAY THIS WITH ME:

Father, help me to let go of the old and embrace the new that I am resisting. Give me grace and compassion for myself and those around me during this process. Teach me how to live and think more in the ‘middle’ and to let go of control. If there is anything that is causing me to stick to the extremes, I ask that you reveal it and begin to heal it during this time. I am ready for my new normal & exchange my agenda, plans and even timing for yours.

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